BTR: Don't Go
by ICrzy
Summary: After a car wreak leaves the guys in the hospital, one in the worst condition than the rest. How will the guys handle one of their own in the hospital? How will Katie and Mrs. Knight handle it? How will Kelly and Gustavo handle it? How will the others in the Palm Woods handle it?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

The Big Time Rush guys were in their apartment playing their brand new video game. This game had HD graphics and online playing time, this was the game the boys were excited for. They didn't care how rude and how much work Gustavo gave them, it all came down to coming home to play that game. On the controllers Kendall, James, Carlos, and Logan while in the background Katie watched and gave her input of the game while the boys didn't even listen. However, their fun and child play ended when the TV went black.

"What!" Shouted all four boys.

Holding the plug was Mama Knight, "You boys promised me you'd help around the place once you could drive." She said.

"We have mom," Kendall said.

"Driving yourself to the studio and Katie to school isn't helping." Mama Knight said.

"Then what is?" James asked.

"I want you boys to go out and buy groceries on this list. Logan, I am expecting nothing but everything on this list. Here is the money." Mama Knight said handing it to Logan.

Even though she trusted Kendall, her eldest son, she knew Logan was more responsible in his nature. She knew Carlos and James would probably buy it on something stupid, or try to convince Kendall. There was no convincing on Logan's part.

Logan nodded, "Alright Mama Knight." He said.

"Can I come?" Katie asked.

"Oh no sweetie, you and I are going through your old clothes." She said.

Katie pouted, Carlos and James laughed at her all childish. Kendall grabbed the car keys and opened the door, Logan headed out and Carlos with James were walking out together. Before Kendall left his mom stopped him.

"Please be careful, Kendall." She said.

Since the death of her husband, Kendall's and Katie's father, due to being drunk behind the wheel Mrs. Knight has always grew worried whenever him or the other boys drove. Her husband died when Kendall was ten and Katie was four, which wasn't fair neither one of them really got to know their father. It was a rather shame, he got laid off work and grew depressed over the last couple of weeks before he died. He would be at the bar getting drunk with his so called friends and he'd usually walk home, however after a friend of his put a thought in her husband's mind he thought he shouldn't be living on this world. So he drove down the streets faster than the speed limit and collide into a street light.

Kendall looked at his mom and smiled, "I will mom." He said.

Mrs. Knight nodded, "Call me when you get there." She said.

"I will mom." Kendall said.

Kendall walked down the hallway seeing his friends waiting for him, they walked to the elevator and then into the lobby. Where they saw Camille and Jo before taking off. Kendall wanted to stay and chat with Jo, like Logan wanted to be with Camille but they were busy. They reached Kendall's red 1993 Ford Probe, and Kendall unlocked the car.

**~BTR~**

James and Carlos got in the back, as Kendall was in the front about to drive and Logan sat next to him. Kendall pulled out of the Palm Woods parking and pulled out onto the main street.

"Mama Knight is going to be making some kind of fancy dinner." Logan said.

"Really?" Kendall said.

"Why do you say that?" Carlos asked.

"Turkey, yams, green beans, potatoes, stuffing, and corn. This sounds like a Thanksgiving feast, yet its only October." Logan said.

James chuckled, "Starting her Thanksgiving shopping early." He joked.

"Hello, we went record on our new hit." Kendall said as he stared at the rode.

"Dude Gustavo will be mad if we get fat." James said.

Carols pushed James into the wall of the car, "Hey quit saying you'll get fat. You sound like a girl." Carlos said.

James pushed him back, "Don't push me." James said.

Both boys were pushing each other back and forth. Logan was yelling at them to stop, and Kendall glanced up at his mirrors at them.

"I will turn this car around!" Kendall shouted.

The two stopped. Kendall sighed and could relax again. He kept his focus on the rode, all he could think about is his mom worrying about them driving off by themselves. Kendall turned the wheel to the right, the car turned right at the intersection.

"Logan what else is on that list?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah anything good?" James asked.

So Logan was reading out the list to please the boys in the backseat.

"Kendall, can we at least pick up something good for Katie?" James asked.

James was trying to get himself something and Carlos would do the same thing. Kendall shook his head, he quickly glanced back at James.

"No," Kendall said.

Suddenly the moment Kendall glanced back to the rode, his eyes grew larger. He heard his friends scream, a black SUV had pulled out without thinking and at full speed. Kendall tried his best to avoid it, or at least try to avoid a lot of damage. The guys all screamed and watched as the large SUV came closer and closer to the car.

**~BTR~**

James opened his eyes first, his head was pounding. He sat up, he touched his head and felt something. Quickly lowering his hand he saw blood, about to freak out until he turned to Carlos.

"Oh- Carlos!" James yelled.

Carlos was waking up, but his arm looked broken and his head was also bleeding. James noticed some glass from the window that was no longer there. James took off his seat belt to check on his other friends. Logan was moaning but wasn't opening his eyes, he at least knew Logan was alive. However the moment he glanced to Kendall his heart sank.

"Ken- Kendall!" James screamed.

That alerted both Logan and Carlos, Carlos undid his seat belt and Logan did too. Logan who was closer tried to wake their friend. James looked out the broken front window, there was some glass hanging there. The SUV had only collided with Kendall's side, like Kendall had planned it to got that way. James heard the police and squad coming.

"Ca- Can anyone get out?" Logan asked.

"My door is stuck!" Carlos was freaking out.

"Calm down!" James screamed over top of them.

Suddenly James heard the sound get louder, he turned his head and saw the squad pull right next to their car. The fire trucks pulled up and came over with the jaws of life.

A fireman ran to Carlos' side, "Hello I am Lt. Jones is any of you boys seriously injured?" Lt. Jones asked.

"My- our friend." Carlos said panicking.

"Kid, calm down. We are going to get you all out." Lt. Jones said.

On James' and Logan's side, the other firemen were using the jaws of life to remove the doors. Lt. Jones greeted a female EMT, she looked at the boys and smiled.

"Hello I am Betty, what's your friend's name?" She asked as she glanced to Kendall.

"Kendall- Knight." James said and now noticed how shaky his voice was.

"OK, boys you're going to be fine. I promise." Betty said and looked at each of them.

That was the last thing James remembered before passing out. Carlos noticed and was freaking out, until Betty started to talk directly to him.

"Listen kid, calm down or you'll go into shock." She said.

Carlos looked at her.

"What's your name?" Betty asked.

"Carlos Gracia." Carlos said.

"What about you sweetie?" Betty asked Logan.

Logan was paying mostly his attention to the jaws of life, then glanced over after he noticed he was being spoken to.

"Logan Mitchell." Logan said.

"Our friend who just passed out is James Diamond." Carlos said.

Betty nodded and smiled, "Alright well you'll all be fine and safe soon."

Betty turned to another EMT who had brought a gurney, suddenly Logan heard the doors fall down on the ground. Then there was two gurneys by his side, which were meant for him and James. James was loaded quickly and Logan was slower, because he didn't want to leave Kendall or Carlos.

Carlos turned to Logan, "We'll be fine. See you at the hospital." Carlos said with a smile.

An oxygen mask placed on Logan's face completely stopped him from speaking to Carlos, however Logan was being wheeled away quickly. Carlos turned to Kendall in the front seat.

"Kendall, can you hear me?" Carlos asked.

Nothing.

"Bro, Katie is going to be mad. Mostly Mama Knight." Carlos said.

Nothing.

"Carlos, your friend is going to be fine." Betty told Carlos to comfort him.

The doors on that side finally fell to the ground, and the two were load on their own gurney. Carlos who tried to stay with Kendall was started to get blurred vision. He tried harder to stay awake but his vision grew weaker and weaker, the last thing he last before slipping into the darkest was seeing Kendall on his gurney entering the squad.

**How bad is Kendall's condition? What is going to happen next?**

**~ICrzy~**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

_"Is this the Knight home?" Asked the police officer who had knocked on the door._

_A very young Mrs. Knight answered the door. It was seven in the morning on Monday, Kendall was pulling on his Power Rangers backpack. He wore a Pokemon shirt with his well worn jeans with a small hole at the knee. Mrs. Knight had long brown hair and seemed to be lacking sleep._

_"Yes? What is it officer?" She asked._

_"Um is this the home of Richard Knight?" The officer asked._

_Mrs. Knight nodded, "Yes I am his wife Jen." She said._

_Kendall looked confused, he stood and listened to his mom and the officer._

_"Well just about at five this morning there was an accident." He said._

_"What do you mean? Something happened to him?" She asked._

_"I am sorry miss, but your husband died by drinking and driving." He said._

_Tears in her eyes, "No. No. It can't be." She said and fell down._

_The officer knelt down to comfort Mrs. Knight. The officer looked up and saw the young boy, his eyes were widen and tears in his eyes. Instead of running to his mom, Kendall ran off to his room._

**~BTR~**

Mrs. Knight awaited the phone call from the boys. It has been far too long, and she grew worried. Mrs. Knight paced back and forth, which was starting to bug Katie.

"If its bothering you, call one of them." Katie said.

"I should give them a few more minutes." Mrs. Knight said.

Then the phone rang. Mrs. Knight raced to it, she answered all happy but her expression changed and Katie noticed it.

"Yes, this is the Knight home. Yes, I am the mother." Mrs. Knight said.

Katie didn't like the sound of that, she walked closer to her mother.

"In the hospital! What- a car wreak?" Mrs. Knight said.

Katie gasped and a single tear slide down her cheek. Mrs. Knight could barely stand, she was nodding and repling to whoever was on the phone.

"I'll be there soon." Mrs. Knight said.

She hung up and faced her daughter. Katie was already crying and Mrs. Knight couldn't not yet, she needed to see if her babies are alright.

**~BTR~**

Logan and Carlos sat outside the ER. Logan didn't have any bad injuries, only a few bruises and a a fracture on his arm. However Carlos has a concussion and a broken arm. The two awaited for news on James and Kendall. The two were silent, both avoiding to talk about it or on how to explain it to Mrs. Knight.

"Logan! Carlos!" They heard.

It was Mama Knight with Katie behind. The boys stood and was surprised to be hugged instead of being scolded for the wreak. Katie hugged the boys after her mom did. Logan held onto Katie and Carlos rubbed her with his good hand. Katie and Mama Knight sat down next to the boys and tried to get all of the details.  
And the boys told them what happened and what happened before they woke up in the hospital.

"After that the doctor said I can wait with Carlos and see how James and Kendall are." Logan said.

"They both needed surgery?" Mama Knight asked.

Carlos shrugged, "I have no idea. I guess." Carlos said.

Katie sniffed and was rubbing her eyes, her tears were pouring out of her eyes. Mama Knight held onto her daughter tight. Suddenly the door opened and they saw James and Kendall on their own beds. They all got up and followed the doctors with the boys to their rooms.

"James had minor injuries however there was a large piece of glass below his rip cage. We removed without any problems, so James will be fine after some rest."  
The doctor said.

"What about my son?" Mama Knight asked.

"Kendall suffers from a concussion and a broken leg. We recovered some glass in his head and some in his arms, which was no issues. However we are worried at his head, there was some heavy trauma done when the car impacted his car." The doctor said.

"What are you saying?" Logan asked.

"My brother will never wake up?" Katie asked.

"We aren't sure. Hopefully he awakes." The doctor said.

**~BRT~**

James and Kendall were put in the same room to make things easier on the group. James and Kendall both had montiors on them, the only difference was that Kendall had an oxygen mask over his mouth. Mama Knight sat in the chair closest to Kendall, she held onto her son's hand and tried not to cry.

"You promised you'd be careful." She said about to cry.

Katie stood behind her mom and touched her shoulder, "It's OK mom." Katie said.

"No its not, Katie. It's Kendall, its my baby." Mama Knight said.

They all heard moaning from across the room, it was James. Logan ran out to alert the doctor that James is awake. James started to sit up but in came the doctor.

"Relax Mr. Diamond, you don't need to open those stitches." The doctor said.

"Stitches?" James asked.

"You had glass stuck in you." Carlos said.

"What-?" James asked.

The doctor was checking the vitals and the machines, "It's alright. You are going to be fine." The doctor said.

Katie turned to the doctor, "Do you know when my brother will wake up?" Katie asked.

The doctor turned to Katie and Mrs. Knight, "We aren't sure. It could be days, maybe weeks. I am sorry." The doctor said and walked out of the room.

James looked to his right and saw Kendall in his bed, James started to sit up but Carlos told him to lay back down. Yet James wanted to see Kendall, he didn't care if his stitches reopened.

"How- is he?" James asked.

"Besides the coma, he's fine." Mama Knight said.

"How are you?" Katie asked.

"In a little pain but alright." James said.

"Good," Mama Knight said.

Mama Knight held onto her son's hand and was rubbing it, she looked at her son. He was so peaceful as he rested. She remembered when Kendall was a child how he use to always move around while sleeping, a habit he continued even as a seventeen year old. Mama Knight was getting emotional and Katie noticed it, even though Katie was too feeling upset about what happened she needed to be brave for her mom.

"How about I get us something to eat. I'll ask the doctors if you three are cleared to eat." Mama Knight said.

The boys nodded in silence, and as Mama Knight got up Katie took her mom's spot. Katie held onto Kendall's hand and looked at her brother with a worried look upon her face.

**All of the boys are alright, well hopefully Kendall... Everyone is so upset. What's gonna happen next?**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more chapters! (:**

_Twelve year old Kendall Knight sat at his desk, he was upset and quiet. Normally he'd be all happy and making jokes, but today he felt sad._

_"Kendall," Said a high pitched voice._

_Kendall looked up seeing his best friends standing there with a worried look, suddenly Kendall formed a smile. It was easy for Kendall to lie to his friends, just to protect them and keep them from worrying._

_"Hi guys." Kendall said with a smile._

_"You OK?" Logan asked._

_Kendall nodded, "Yeah I was up late playing on my Gameboy but my mom doesn't know." Kendall said._

_The guys laughed and were starting to talk to each other, however Kendall managed to separate himself from the others. It's not that he doesn't like being with them or even hanging out, its that he had a lot on his mind for a twelve year old boy._

**~BTR~**

Kendall laid on his bed, no change has been made to the resting teen. James was staying in the hospital for a while along with Carlos and Logan, even though their injuries weren't life threatening the doctors wanted to keep an eye on them over night. James stood by Kendall's bed.

"This feels like a bad dream." Carlos said from across the room.

"I know, its hard to believe." Logan said.

James wasn't feeling the same like Logan and Carlos. Instead of feeling sad and upset, James felt angry. It was Kendall's fault, he was driving and should have been more careful.

"He should have had his eyes on the road." James said.

"James!" Logan said.

"What? It's his fault it happened. If he wasn't too concerned on glancing back to Carlos and I, we'd probably wouldn't even be here." James said.

"If it wasn't for Kendall the impact on the car could have been far worst and maybe we'd all be in comas!" Carlos shouted.

James rolled his eyes, he walked out of the room in anger. Logan was angry at James but couldn't hold it against James. James was trying to deal with it and that was the only way. Unlike Carlos' and Logan's way is just feeling sorry about it.

"Is everything alright in here?" Asked a female voice.

Logan and Carlos looked up, there standing at the door was Kelly with Gustavo. Both adults looked worried but had a soft smile showing how concerned they are.

"Not really but hopefully it'll be alright." Logan said.

"How are you dogs?" Gustavo asked.

"Fine," Carlos said.

"Any word on how long Kendall will be in a coma?" Kelly asked concerned.

"No clue." Logan said.

Gustavo walked over to Carlos and Logan, and then he hugged the two boys.

"It'll be alright, everything will be fine." Gustavo said.

Kelly formed a small smile.

Gustavo may scream and yell at the guys but he actually thinks of them as his sons in a way, the sons he can send away if he doesn't want them. He always pictured Kendall as the eldest son, Logan as the second eldest son, James as the middle son, and Carlos as the youngest. Gustavo felt broken knowing the fact his dogs are in pain or even hurt.

"Whoa Gustavo," Carlos said.

**~BTR~**

_Kendall Knight, twelve years old, walked inside the house. He heard his mom on the phone. She was getting into fights back and forth with the person on the other line. Kendall had a thought who it was. It was her boyfriend, Devin. Devin and his mom kept breaking up and getting back together, also Devin has a record with the police force._

_"Devin! This is the final straw! Katie and Kendall could have been killed!" His mom shouted from the kitchen._

_Kendall stood at the front door, he remembered what his mom was talking about. A few weeks before hand his mom was stuck at work longer, and Devin picked up Kendall and Katie from the babysitters. While doing this Devin was smoking weed and also drinking, the man who was higher than a kite continued to drive until he hit the back of police car. Lucky for Kendall it was Carlos' dad's car. Devin was arrested until he was bailed out and the kids went to Carlos' until his mom got off work._

_"No- it's over!" His mom screamed._

_Kendall took off his shoes and walked toward the stairs and then heard the kitchen door open._

_"Kendall," His mother said._

_Kendall turned and face his mom. Kendall and his mom haven't really had much of a relationship since the death of his dad. While his mom went dating again and being the only worker in the house, the bills were paid late. They even went a week without water and heat. So Kendall started a paper route to earn a few extra bucks to help with that stuff, __being twelve years old the boy worries about his home and mostly his baby sister._

_"Mom," Kendall said._

_Kendall noticed his mom not even try to start talking to her son, so Kendall walked up the stairs. Upstairs he heard giggling, it was his six year old sister. Katie was playing with her dolls and noticed Kendall. She ran over and dragged him into her room._

_"Kenny, look what I drew you!" Katie said all excited._

_Kendall formed a smile and took a the picture, "Thank you Katie. It's beautiful." Kendall said._

_"I love you big brother." Katie said hugging her brother._

_"I love you too baby sister." Kendall said hugging her back._

**~BTR~**

Katie sat by the bed, tears still in her eyes. Her emotions were everywhere, she felt like if she was there it wouldn't have happened. Yet she knew the same thing could have happened, and some things you cannot escape the fate.

"Big brother, you- need to open your eyes." Katie told her brother.

Nothing.

"Please Kendall. Mom is a train wreak, the guys are upset, and even Gustavo is worried." Katie said.

Not a single response.

Katie stared at the teen on the bed. Kendall looked pale and like he was would just open his eyes, like he was faking being in a coma. Katie heard the machines make the sounds as Kendall's heart beat. Katie looked down at his hand and she thought to hold his hand tight and then loosen her grip. Once Katie did that she awaited a response. Nothing.

"I knew it, I knew it." Katie said to herself.

Suddenly a tight feel on her hand, she looked down and saw Kendall's hand move. Her eyes widen and tears slide down her cheek.

"Guys! Guys! He- Kendall tighten his grip!" Katie shouted.

**Kendall is there! Just cannot wake up! What do you think? What do you think of the flashbacks? And what do you think will happen next?**

**~ICrzy~**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

Gustavo stood against the door frame, everyone went to get air. He stood keeping an eye on Kendall in case there are some change in his health.  
Gustavo glanced around and took a seat in Katie's seat. He touched the hand of his rock star.

"Hey dog, you need to wake up. Our world tour is coming up this summer and Griffin will have my head if you aren't there." Gustavo said.

Nothing.

"I shouldn't say that, no. Instead, I need you to wake up. Kendall, you have a loving mom and a great sister. You have good friends and a sweet girlfriend.  
You are very talented and haven't fully explored the world yet, you cannot quit before you've lived your life." Gustavo said.

Gustavo held onto Kendall's hand for a split second and then let go, Gustavo got up and walked to the door. He took off his shades and rubbed his eyes, he had not noticed the tears coming from his eyes. He glanced back and stared at the boy. The rebel he picked out of millions of other talentless teenagers he was searching for.

**~BTR~**

_"Look at cry baby Knight!" Taunted some kids._

_On the ground was a crying eight year old Katie. She was on the ground while the other kids in her grade were laughing at her._

_"Look she's crying." Laughed one._

_"Such a baby." Another said._

_"Leave her alone!" Shouted Kendall._

_The fourteen year old walked over, behind him was his friends. The young teen had his hockey bag with his and seemed sweaty, so he had just finished his practice._

_"Whoa, we better go." Said a kid._

_The kids scattered out of the spot quickly. Kendall didn't care about them, he knelt down to Katie. Katie looked up and hugged Kendall tightly, at that time the guys were right behind Kendall._

_"What happened Katie?" Kendall asked._

_"Those kids were making fun of me for bringing Flopsy to school." Katie said._

_"What's a Flopsy?" James asked._

_Kendall looked at his friends, "Her stuffed bunny." Kendall said._

_"Katie, aren't you a little too old for stuff toys?" Carlos asked._

_"That's why they were laughing." Katie said._

_"Hey, Flopsy is Flopsy. Besides, if it makes you feel better I still have my first teddy bear." Kendall said._

_"So having Flopsy doesn't mean I am a baby?" Katie asked._

_"Of course not baby sister." Kendall said._

_Kendall kissed her forehead and helped her up._

**~BTR~**

Mrs. Knight looked at her son. She stood by the door, she didn't want to be close yet at the same time she wanted to be close to him. She thought it over and walked over to her son. She sat down and looked at Kendall.

"Kendall, sweetie. Please open your eyes." Mrs. Knight said.

Nothing.

A small tear slide down his mom's cheek, "Please baby. Katie and I are worried, and so are the guys." Mrs. Knight said.

Not a single movement.

Mrs. Knight looked at her son then to the machines hooked up to him. She never thought her son would ever be in this situation, she never hoped for any child to be in such a situation. However, this was real it happens all the time. She knew reality was here yet she didn't want to come to grip.

"Kendall, remember when you were eight? Your father- he took you to the ice rink for the first time. Remember dear? I was so angry because I didn't want you involved in hockey. I knew how dangerous it was, yet it was something you and your father bonded over." Mrs. Knight said.

Kendall just rested there. Tears was pouring out of Mrs. Knight's eyes, she stood up and looked at her son. She turned away to rid the tears, she didn't want to look at him while she cried. After she stopped crying she sat back down, returning to her son.

"Your father was so proud of you. He'd be proud of you for your music. I know I am." Mrs. Knight said.

"Mom," Said a small voice.

Mrs. Knight turned and saw her youngest. Katie held a really old stuff bunny, Mrs. Knight smiled and welcomed her daughter into the room. Katie walked over and her mom wanted Katie to sit on her lap.

"You found Flopsy." Mrs. Knight said.

"I never lost Flopsy." Katie said with a small smile.

Katie turned to her brother and then to her stuff bunny.

"Kendall, you've always been the big brother any younger sibling could ask for. You helped me with everything and was completely supportive in everything I did. You weren't just a brother, you were a father figure to me." Katie said.

Mrs. Knight looked at the time, it was getting late. She picked Katie up from her lap and she also stood up.

"We'll come back tomorrow Kendall," Mrs. Knight said.

"I love you big brother." Katie said.

"I love you Kendall," Mrs. Knight said and kissed her son's forehead.

Katie kissed her brother's forehead, and the two left Kendall in his room.

**How will Kendall's condition go? Will it get better or worst? What's gonna happen next?**

**~ICrzy~**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

Jo sat in the hospital room, she had finally stopped crying since she heard the news. Camille got a text from Logan, who quickly told Jo. The two girls were in panic and Jo was a mess, yet Jo knew Kendall's family would be worst than she is.

Jo sat in the chair closest to Kendall, she touched his hand and looked directly at him. Her boyfriend just laid on the bed, not moving. She just wanted him to open his eyes and say he is OK.

"Kendall," Jo started, "Please stay strong. I need you, we all need you." Jo said.

Jo realized she started to cry again, she was angry at her for starting to cry. She wanted to be strong but her emotions got the better of her.

"Kendall, remember when I first moved to the Palm Woods?" Jo asked.

She waited just in case he'd magically wake up just to answer her. However no reply so Jo continued.

"I saw you sitting across the pool with the guys, and right then and there I knew you were something special." Jo said.

Jo rubbed her eyes with her other hand as her hand that is holding Kendall's hand was stroking it.

"You are such a dork, Kendall. However, you've stole my heart and I won't forgive you if you give up. Not yet, you have to pull through. Not just for me, but for your family and your friends." Jo said.

**~BTR~**

_Kendall walked down the hallway in the Palm Woods, he stopped hearing crying in the hallway. He stopped and turned around, he saw his girlfriend crying. He walked over and touched her shoulders, which jolted her. She looked up and was embarrassed that he is seeing her cry._

_"Jo? What is it?" Kendall asked._

_Jo was shaking her head and rubbing her eyes, "No- nothing." She tried to keep it away from him._

_Kendall looked at her, "Jo please tell me what's wrong. Why are you crying?" Kendall asked._

_Jo looked up and she stared directly into is hazel eyes. Kendall looked into her big brown eyes, and formed a soft smile for comfort._

_"I gotta call back home in North Carolina. It's my mom." Jo said and stopped to weep again._

_"What about you mom?" He asked._

_"She- died." Jo said and hugged him tightly._

_Kendall held onto her tight for comfort, he didn't bother to ask how it happened and question anything. He knew how much pain it feels to lose a parent mostly when you know you wish you could have stopped it. Kendall held onto Jo until Jo pulled back to stare back at her boyfriend._

_"She- was mugged." Jo said._

_"I am so sorry Jo," Kendall said, "Does the police have the person who mugged her?"_

_"Yes they already arrested him." Jo said._

_"Well that's something good." Kendall said._

_"Yeah but it doesn't bring back my mom." Jo said._

_"Jo, I understand how your feeling." Kendall said._

_"Huh?" Jo looked up._

_Kendall bit his lip and looked down for a split second, then glanced up at Jo. Her tears had stopped and her sad face turned to confusion. Kendall finally built the courage to tell her about his pain._

_"It was recent but, um I did lose someone close. More than close, I lost my father." Kendall said._

_"Kendall," Jo said._

_"Yeah, I know you didn't know. I don't tell people about it." Kendall said._

_"Why?" Jo asked._

_"Because of reasons, besides the point I was ten when my dad died in a car wreak. My mom was depressed and upset, I was upset and sad for weeks maybe even months." Kendall said._

_Jo looked down, until Kendall lifted her head._

_"But what I've learned is being with the people close to you makes the pain go away, maybe not for good but gone enough that it doesn't hurt as much." Kendall said._

_Jo smiled, "Wanna go watch TV movies with me until my dad gets off work?" Jo asked._

_"Sure," Kendall said._

**~BTR~**

Jo stared at her boyfriend but then jumped feeling a hand touch her shoulder, she turned and saw Camille with Logan. The two formed a small smile as a sigh of comfort. Jo smiled back but it faded as she turned back to Kendall.

"God, this is so depressing." Camille said as she walked into the room.

"I know, Camille. Carlos is just so crushed and James is blaming Kendall for all of this." Logan said.

"What about you Logan?" Jo asked from her seat.

"I'm doing alright." Logan said quickly.

Camille looked at Kendall, "Katie told me he moved his fingers a little bit. So he probably can hear us, right?" Camille asked.

"I hope so, I really hope so." Jo said and held his hand tighter.

Logan looked at Jo and walked over, he knelt down and felt the pain from his injuries hurt the moment he did so. He knelt down to look directly into Jo's eyes. Jo turned and looked at Logan. She noticed to bandages and some bruises on his face.

"Listen Jo, I know how last year was a rough year. And you are all worried the same thing will happen, but Kendall is strong enough. He'll make it through." Logan said with a sure faith in his voice.

Jo smiled and turned to Kendall, "I hope so. I really hope he just wakes up now, so I won't feel so stressed." Jo said.

"He'll wake up, the healing process takes time." Logan said.

**Everyone is so sure Kendall will wake up. Will he? How is James doing with all of this? What about Carlos? What will happen next?**

**~ICrzy~**


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

"God Kendall," James said to himself as he walked the halls of the Palm Woods.

Everyone had returned to the apartment to rest before returning to the hospital. However James couldn't sleep, he was too angry and full of rage he needed to walk. James just kept walking around the hallway for a while, he was pacing basically.

"James," It was Logan.

James stopped and turned. Logan was wearing a wife-beater and sweat pants. Logan walked over to James, James put his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Get some sleep, it's eleven at night." Logan said.

"I am not tired." James said.

"After the day we've had, get some rest." Logan said.

"You can't tell me what to do." James said.

James started to walk but Logan grabbed James' arm.

"Stop this," Logan said.

"Stop what?" James asked.

"Blaming Kendall, instead of being angry at him can't you at least feeling sad? Or hope he'll get better like the rest of us." Logan said.

James pushed Logan off, "You can't tell me how to feel." James said.

"I know I can't but it seems you don't care whether or not Kendall makes a full recovery or not." Logan said.

James snapped, "Take that back." James said.

Logan reminded silent.

"Take that back!" James shouted.

Logan saw the anger burst out, before Logan could speak James punched Logan in the jaw. That left both boys speechless, James looked at Logan and Logan looked up. The force James had in his punch knocked Logan down on the floor.

"Loggie, I-." James said.

Logan got up, "No. If you want to blame Kendall go ahead, sorry for actually worrying about you." Logan said.

After Logan said that, he returned into the apartment. James got angry and kicked the wall, he slammed his fist against it and then his head. He was angry but then it turned to sorrow.

"Kendall, you better not die or I'll kill you." James said to himself.

**~BTR~**

_"Dude why do you carry that mirror with you 24/7?" Asked a thirteen year old Kendall._

_James turned to his best friend and merely laughed at his friend. Kendall rolled his eyes not really understanding his confusing friend. Kendall and James were both heading to school._

_"Because one day I'll become famous." James said._

_"And being on the hockey team for you is basically a death wish." Kendall said and laughed._

_"Oh shut it Kendall, we promised to all try out for the hockey team." James said._

_"Yeah, and I am pretty sure out of you three I am positive Carlos will be alright. Him and his helmet he is usually use to crashing into things. Logan is not much of a violent person and you, well James." Kendall said and partly laughed again._

_"What?" James asked._

_"Well you are a pretty boy, you care so much on your looks." Kendall said._

_James gasped, "James and I are angry with you." He said._

_"See just like that, man. Come on, try being somewhat normal. I mean you carrying those head shots of you is more normal than this mirror." Kendall said._

_"Don't judge." James said._

_Kendall turned to his friend, "Yeah you right but you're easier to pick on." Kendall said._

_"What?" James said._

_Kendall looked up at the sky, "Logan is head strong in his education and is always serious. Carlos is fun and crazy but doesn't have a normal side which is cool. However, James you and I are complete opposites." Kendall said._

_James frowned, he knew Kendall and James didn't get along as well as Kendall did with Logan and Carlos._

_"But that's what makes use great friends, even though we have our difference we still can be the best of friends." Kendall said._

_James looked at Kendall and smiled, "Since have you gotten so deep Kendall?" James asked._

_"I don't know, come on we can't be late for school." Kendall said._

**~BTR~**

James drove off to the hospital to visit, he walked into Kendall's room. No change, he wasn't surprised. He sat down and looked at his friend, not angry anymore no more guilty.

"Hey buddy." James said.

Kendall looked to have a little bit more color to his face, James noticed Kendall's eye lids shifting back and forth. Kendall was trying to wake up. James stood up and leaned close to Kendall, he looked down at his friend.

"Hey Kendall, its me. It's James." James said.

Nothing, the movement in his eyes stopped and James sat back down.

"Now you're messing with me." James said to himself.

James looked at his friend and let out a deep breathe.

"Kendall, you need to open your eyes. We are falling apart without you. You're the rock, the bridge that keeps us all balanced." James said.

James looked down at his shoes, he noticed he was beginning to cry.

"Stop slacking off! You need to wake up." James said.

"James," A voice said.

James turned it was Logan. James stood up, Logan had a small smile.

"Sorry," James said.

"It's alright, Mama Knight is worried. Let's head back." Logan said.

"One second." James said and turned to Kendall.

Logan allowed James and him to stay with Kendall, actually Logan let them stay a bit longer than James had wanted to stay. He knew James felt bad and needed to be with his friend.

"OK, I am ready." James said.

"He'll be OK." Logan said to James as they approached the door.

Before they left the room they were stopped by a noise coming from the room. Some kind of moaning, which shocked the boys who turned their head to Kendall. His eye lids were moving like they were before with James.

"Kendall," James said.

"Wh-." Kendall managed to say but he fell back asleep.

Logan and James walked back into the room, Logan dialed Mrs. Knight to tell her what is happening. James however was trying to wake Kendall back up.

"Kendall, what were you trying to say?" James asked.

Kendall just rested there. James didn't like that, he sat on the bed. He grabbed a hold of Kendall's hand.

"Come on Kendall," James said.

"Don't rush it James." Logan said.

**~BTR~**

Mrs. Knight stood with the doctor outside of the room, while the boys and Katie were in Kendall's room. There wasn't much active moments with Kendall since he tried to wake up with James and Logan leaving.

Mrs. Knight walked in, "The doctor says if Kendall tried to wake like you said he is probably fighting himself to wake himself." Mrs. Knight said.

"So he is alright?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, but at this point this is all up to Kendall's mind. If he can handle waking up." Mrs. Knight said.

"Kendall," Katie said.

Mrs. Knight rubbed her face, "I am getting myself a coffee." She said.

Mrs. Knight walked out of the room. She was tired, she didn't get much sleep since they returned home late from visiting and of course Logan called really early in the morning.

"Katie, he'll be fine." James said.

"Did- Kendall say anything?" Carlos asked.

"Not really, he tried to speak but it was more like moaning." Logan said.

James nodded, "He was trying." James said.

Katie nodded, "I want him to wake up so badly." Katie said.

"Me too," James said.

As the room slowly got quiet they all turned their attention once they heard the sound of moaning. Katie turned to Kendall, he was moaning. His body wasn't really moving a lot. However, the boys were shocked seeing Kendall move a little bit. His hand move and Katie grabbed a hold of it.

"Kendall, its me. It's Katie." Katie said.

"Kat-," Kendall didn't finish his word.

He moaned and his eye lids were moving. Everyone just stood, instead of getting a doctor they just stood and awaited the condition of Kendall. Katie felt Kendall's hand tighten the grip as she held onto his hand.

"I am here big brother," Katie said.

James, Logan, and Carlos walked by the side of the bed. They wanted Kendall to know he wasn't alone in this.

"Kendall we are here." Carlos said.

"Yeah all three of us." Logan said.

"We are your best friends, no we are your brothers." James said.

"Gu-ys." Kendall said.

**~BTR~**

Tears in the room, excitement filled the room completely. Katie looked up at the guys and smiled. The next thing made everyone happy and full of joy. Slowly and slowly Kendall started to open his eyes. Once his eyes were wide, he closed them quickly due to the light being so bright. Then Kendall opened them again. He looked at the ceiling then turned to the right. He saw Katie, she was crying and happy. Kendall turned to the left and saw the guys. They were just like Katie.

"What- is going on?" Kendall asked.

"You were in a coma dude." Carlos said.

"For how long?" Kendall asked.

"Nearly four days." Logan said.

"Wow," Kendall said weakly.

Kendall tried to take off the oxygen mask but the guys told him to keep it on. Carlos ran to get Mrs. Knight, as Logan ran to get the doctor. Kendall was both confused and also relived about seeing his friends alright. In came the doctor with Logan behind him, shortly in Mrs. Knight and Carlos. Yet the doctor told the mother to stay back while he checked on Kendall.

"How are you feeling Kendall?" The doctor asked.

"Leg hurts, my head feels like I just played a hard core hockey game." Kendall said and formed a small smile.

The doctor smiled at the comment, "Well your leg is broken which explains the pain. You might also still have a concussion, I might have some test to prove whether its the case or not. However, this is the call button if you need anything." The doctor said.

Kendall, "Alright thank you sir." Kendall said.

The doctor smiled at that final word. "Sir" now Kendall is well-mannered due to his mom, and also the fact Kendall gives people respect as long as he gets respect. The doctor walked out of the room, and Kendall was shocked by his mom hugging him tightly.

"Kendall Donald Knight! I could- but I am so happy you're alright." Mrs. Knight said.

Kendall formed a smile, "Yeah- yeah me too." Kendall said.

Mrs. Knight remembered something, "Oh I'll be right back. I promised Kelly and Gustavo I'll call when your condition changed, be right back kids." She said.

Mrs. Knight walked out. Logan and Carlos were exchanging back and forth, and also trying to include Kendall. Katie was too busy holding Kendall's hand and he held her hand back. A smile that was once on Kendall's face had faded. James noticed it and stepped forward.

"Kendall, you need to answer something for me." James said.

Kendall looked up, "What?"

"The amount of damage when the SUV hit our car was all on your side, your side had more damage while we had minor." James said.

"What are you saying?" Kendall asked.

Kendall rubbed his head, it still hurt and yet James needed to know.

"Did you know there was no way to avoid the SUV so you choose you allow yourself to get hurt the most in order to protect us?" James asked.

Kendall looked up and then down at his blanket, "Uh can we ask about this later? My head is hurting a lot and I can't really think straight." Kendall said.

James sighed, "Fine."

While James was angry he didn't get his answer, he was also happy seeing Kendall in one piece. That his friend is talking and awake. Carlos and Logan talked to Kendall and Kendall started to exchange with them. James talked a little bit, however he stopped and looked at Kendall. James looked at Logan and Carlos, the two were laughing and carrying on a funny chat yet Kendall who was involved in it had left. Logan and Carlos didn't even noticed, James noticed Kendall looking down and had his usual frown he made while growing up. James glanced at Katie who was holding onto her brother.

'What is bothering you Kendall?' James thought.

**KENDALL IS AWAKE! Yet what is bothering him? Will James get his answer? And will the other find out what is bothering him? What's gonna happen next?**

**~ICrzy~**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

Kendall was watching ESPN on the TV in the hospital, he had finally gotten some quiet since his family and friends left. However not much of sleep since the doctors were in and out of his room, that and his mind was restless. He couldn't shut down and just relax, he was too wide awake.

"You're still awake?" Said a soft voice.

Kendall turned and saw a female nurse, she looked at her wrist watch and fully stepped into the room.

"It's three in the morning, aren't you tired dear?" She asked.

Kendall shrugged, "I think I've had enough sleep for a while." He joked.

The nurse smiled, "Baby you need sleep." She said.

Kendall looked at this nurse, "I know." He said.

"Then why not get some sleep? You must be tired from that large group in here early today." She said.

Kendall smiled, "Yeah they did make this room lively." Kendall said.

The nurse smiled and held her hand out to Kendall, "My name is Gail." Gail said.

"Kendall," He said.

"I know, I've read your files." Gail said.

Kendall nodded, he turned off the TV. Gail looked at his monitors and then grabbed his filers, she wrote down the recorded numbers in his chart and put it back at the end of the bed.

"You need anything before I head out?" Gail asked.

Kendall looked at her and then down, "Uh- no I'm good." Kendall said.

"Well if you change your mind, hit the call button." Gail said.

Kendall nodded and before he was alone he noticed Gail still by the door.

"And get some sleep dear." She said.

"I'll try." Kendall said with a smile.

**~BTR~**

_Kendall sat in the living room, he was pouting. All of a sudden his father walked in and noticed the troubled child. Kendall was doing his third grade homework,_  
_the ten year old was confused._

_"What seems to be the issue bud?" His dad asked._

_Kendall stared up at his father, "I don't understand this." Kendall said._

_"Well why don't you ask for help?" His dad asked._

_"Because I didn't want to seem stupid." Kendall said._

_His dad sat next to his son, he messed with Kendall's shaggy hair. His dad smiled at his son, which confused Kendall._

_"Son, I wouldn't think you are stupid. It's normal not to understand stuff in life, its better to ask questions for you can understand it." His dad said._

_"Really?" Kendall asked._

_His dad nodded, "Yes really." He said._

_Kendall nodded and then his dad looked down at his homework._

_"So what don't you understand?" His dad asked._

_Kendall pointed to the problem, his dad helped explain the problem and was teaching Kendall how to solve the problem. Once Kendall finally understood it, he quickly turned to his father with a big smile._

_"I get it!" Kendall cheered._

_"See what did I say." His dad said._

_His dad was hugged by his son, "Thank you dad." Kendall said._

_"Your welcome son," His dad said._

**~BTR~**

Kendall opened his eyes, he had no idea what time it was. He turned his head to the right and noticed an emotional Jo sitting in the chair next to him. Kendall nearly jumped out of his bed, but he was too worried about calming his girlfriend down.

"Jo? Why- are you crying?" Kendall asked.

Kendall was embraced by Jo, she hugged him.

"I was so worried, I was scared I'd loose you." Jo said.

Kendall used his right arm to hold onto her, while his left arm held his balance on the bed. Jo was still crying but had slowly calmed herself down. Kendall let her release those built up emotions.

"I am sorry, I told myself I wouldn't cry." Jo said.

Kendal touched Jo's face, "It's alright." Kendall said.

"It feels like a dream." Jo said.

Kendall formed a smile, "Will this make it feel like reality?" Kendall asked.

Kendall leaned toward his girlfriend and kissed her on the lips. Jo had been waiting for that, to be able to kiss her beloved boyfriend. Yet since his coma, she had been an emotional mess. So actually kissing him, made her realize everything is alright.

Kendall pulled back and smiled, "Better?" He asked.

"Better," Jo said smiling into Kendall's hazel eyes.

**KendallXJo moment! Also flashback of Kendall with his father! How will Kendall react with leaving the hospital and returning to normal activity? **

**~ICrzy~**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more chapters!**

Kendall had returned home after being in the hospital for about five to six days. His sudden change really tired him out, which was a surprise to Kendall. With his broken leg,the doctor told Mama Knight to keep Kendall from doing any activity, which included band practice.

"Kendall you're lucky." Carlos said.

"To have a broken leg?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, while Gustavo works us to the bone you can relax." Carlos said.

Logan laughed, "For now he gets to rest." Logan said.

Kendall formed a small smile, "Yeah." Kendall said.

Mama Knight was washing dishes in the kitchen, while Katie sat at the breakfast bar. The two were going at it about her selling ice cream in the lobby, which Mama Knight was completely against. Logan was reading a book on the solar system, Carlos was playing on his PSP, and James was sitting unusually silent.

"James, you OK?" Kendall asked.

James glanced up, "Fine." James said.

Mama Knight walked out to the living room, "Boys I need to run into town real quick. I am bringing Katie with, anyone need anything call me." Mama Knight said.

The boys waved goodbye to Mama Knight and Katie, then the room was full of silence.

"OK, guys what's up?" Kendall asked.

Carlos and Logan exchanged looks, then James stood up.

"What's up? You were in a coma!" James shouted.

Kendall grabbed her crutches and stood up, "How is that my fault?" Kendall asked.

"Because maybe if you were paying attention none of this would have happened?" James shouted.

"You're blaming me?" Kendall asked.

"James," Logan shot him a look.

"Yes I am. If you weren't too concerned about what Carlos and I were doing, we'd have a normal day." James said.

"Oh really now. Well James, if I didn't try to avoid the car maybe we'd be in worst shape." Kendall said.

"Are you saying you were protecting us or something?" James shouted.

Kendall remained silent for a moment, "I couldn't let anything happen to you guys." Kendall said.

"Kendall," Carlos said standing up.

Kendall looked down, the guys noticed in his eyes something familiar. That same look he had when his dad died, that look of defeat and sorrow.

"Kendall," Logan said.

Kendall shook his head, "Listen we are alive. We're good." Kendall said and with the help of his crutches he left the room.

**~BTR~**

_"Look it's Kendall," Said a small voice._

_"I heard his dad was completely drunk." Said another voice._

_"Yeah, my mom said the police barely knew who the body was at first. That's how messed up he looked." Said another voice._

_Ten year old, Kendall Knight, put his hood up. He walked the hallways in shame, no more like in sorrow. He didn't want anyone giving him pity or their fake apologizes. He didn't want to be looked down or even some kind of charity case._

_The young boy walked into his classroom, the class that was full of energy suddenly got quiet when they saw Kendall. Then when he walked into the classroom the rumors were spreading and quickly this time. The boy however didn't seem to care, yet he just wanted to cry. Kendall sat down in his chair and put his head on his desk._

_"His dad was crazy anyways," Said a voice._

_"Yeah, I heard he was thinking about killing himself before." Said another voice._

_"Wonder if that runs in the family?" Said another voice._

_Kendall wanted to scream yet he knew he couldn't. Earlier that year he had gotten into a fight with a kid in his classroom because the kid was picking on Logan, and Kendall hates when people take advantage of the weak._

_"Yo, how about you shut your mouth about Kendall's dad." Said a familiar voice to Kendall._

_"Yeah how would you feel if it was your dad?" Said another familiar voice._

_"You guys are just plain jerks." Said the last voice familiar to Kendall._

_Kendall lifted his head, his hood was in his way so Kendall took the hood off. In front of Kendall's desk stood his best friends. Carlos, Logan, and James stood in front of the few of many students spreading lies about what happened._

_"Oh come on, aren't you wondering if Kendall is just as insane as his dad?" Asked a boy with a soccer shirt on._

_"No, because Kendall is my best friend." Carlos said._

_"Yeah," Logan said._

_Stepping forward was the kid Kendall fought with before, "Oh really. He jumped me, and didn't stop hitting me even when the teachers caught us fighting." He said._

_Kendall's head sunk again, he thought his friends would betray him. Kendal wouldn't have blamed them, he was starting to hate himself and hate his father. Maybe he and his father weren't so different, he was use to people saying they look so much alike._

_"He was just angry at the fact you bully kids smaller than you." James said._

_"You three are idiots for being friends with that animal." Said another boy._

_"Maybe but at least we know our true friends." Logan said._

_Kendall lifted his head and turned his head, eyes looking up at his friends. James, Carlos, and Logan turned their heads to face Kendall. All three of them formed big smiles and gave Kendall a thumbs up._

_"We will always be friends." Carlos said._

**~BTR~**

"What the heck was that James?" Logan asked.

"Yeah I thought you weren't angry at Kendall anymore?" Carlos asked.

"I'm not." James said.

"Could have fooled me." Logan said.

James sighed, "Sorry I guess I had some anger still built up." James said.

"And you had to blame him?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah James, not cool. He just woke up what, two days ago." Logan said.

"I know, I know." James said.

Carlos looked down, "What kind of friends are we?" Carlos asked.

Both guys looked at Carlos.

"I mean, Kendall gets injured badly and we couldn't help him. We made a promise to always have each others back, yet we didn't have his." Carlos said.

"We made that promise when we were eight." James said.

"So, we could have done something." Carlos said.

"How could have we known," Logan said and sighed, "How could anyone know when something bad happens."

James looked at Logan and Carlos, the two Kendall had no issues getting along with. It was always James and Kendall getting in each others faces, always finding a knew reason to pick a fight. James didn't understand why Kendall would put up with a jerk of a friend this long, or was it that Kendall didn't care about the small and stupid fights they had.

"Guys," James said.

Logan and Carlos looked up at James.

"We should be with Kendall, helping him through this." James said.

Carlos and Logan nodded, and with that the three of them walked out of the living room.

**Kendall is still having some issues, dealing with some personal demons... Yet is it just related to the accidents or is there more? Will the guys manage to help Kendall out of this? What's gonna happen next?**


	9. Chapter 9

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more chapters!**

_Sitting in the grass turning recess was Kendall, he had his hood up and he was curled up like a ball. He was away from everyone and he wanted to stay that way. However, as much as he wished to be left alone he wasn't getting it at school._

_"Oh look Kendall is going to cry, such a baby." Said the kid Kendall got into a fight with._

_"Whoa, Joey kinda rude. His dad just died." Said the kid with Joey._

_"Oh shut up, he is such a baby." Joey said and laughed._

_Kendall made his hands into fists, as much as he wanted to jump him he didn't. Instead Kendall got up and was going to find someplace else to be alone, yet Joey grabbed Kendall's arm._

_"Where are you going cry baby?" Joey asked._

_"Joey, maybe we should back off." The kid said._

_"Oh come of Jeff, what is cry baby Knight gonna do?" Joey asked and grinned at Kendall._

_Kendall looked directly at the bully and pulled his arm back, Joey shook his head and stepped closer to Kendall. Joey's friend Jeff was trying to get Joey to listen to him, yet Joey wanted to get Kendall back. Joey cracked his knuckles and looked down at Kendall._

_"Guys-! Fight!" Shouted some kid._

_Students gathered around Kendall and Joey. James, Carlos, and Logan bolted over to protect their friend. Once they pushed through all the kids they had found Kendall the only one standing and Joey on the ground. No blood or no rage involved, however Joey was complaining about his wrist._

_Kendall pushed through the crowd yet Joey got up and knocked Kendall down, "You are worthless!" Joey screamed._

_"Knock it off Joey!" James shouted._

_"Yeah you're a bully!" Carlos shouted._

_Logan knelt down to aid Kendall, Kendall pushed his friend off of him and stood up to be in Joey's face._

_"You want to go for round two Knight?" Joey asked with a smirk._

_"I am not worthless, I live with meaning. However Joey, you choose to pick on others and make them upset. You are the worthless one." Kendall said and pushed Joey back._

_Joey glared at Kendall, Kendall turned and walked off. James, Carlos, and Logan followed after Kendall. The three boys caught up with Kendall on the side of the school, Kendall was sitting against the brick building. His head looking up at the clear blue sky, his friends walking over cause him to jump._

_"Hey man, you alright?" Logan asked._

_Kendall looked at them, "Yeah totally." Kendall lied._

_"Kendall," Carlos said._

_"That's a lie and we know it." James said._

_"James," Logan snapped._

_Kendall looked up and sighed, "Nothing is getting pass you three huh." Kendall said and looked down at his dirty high tops._

_"Come on man, let us in. We can help." Carlos said._

_Kendall looked up at his friends and bit his lip for a moment, "I don't know what to feel." Kendall said._

_"What do you mean?" Logan asked._

_"I mean, my dad was clearly drunk and basically caused that to himself. But at the same time, he was my dad." Kendall said._

_"Kendall, your in shock." Logan said knowing a lot about people since he has been studying to be a doctor since he could read._

_Kendall looked down and James knelt down, "Hey man we know you like to put up a front to show us your fine. It's just, Kendall we are all humans. We aren't perfect." James said._

_Kendall looked from James, to Carlos, and lastly Logan. Then Kendall noticed he started to cry, he touched the tears against his cheek and then felt his best friends hug him as a form of comfort._

**~BTR~**

Kendall laid on his bed, he was reading The Da Vinci Code. He was lost in the world of the book when he didn't even notice his friends walk into his bedroom, when he saw them he nearly had a heart attack. Kendall closed the book and put it down.

"What is it?" Kendall asked trying to act normal.

"Kendall, remember the that you found out your old man died?" James started.

Kendall's jaw tighten, that subject was very touchy and Kendall always like to avoid mentioning it to anyone.

"Remember Joey Parkers and when you broke his wrist, for what the third time that year?" Carlos said.

Kendall nodded and looked down.

"Remember when we found you alone by the side of the school?" Logan asked.

"What's your point?" Kendall asked a bit aggressive.

James looked at him, "You were just like you are now then. You were angry and also scared, a bit upset and also confused." James said.

"Kendall, this isn't healthy. Avoiding to talk about this." Logan said.

Carlos nodded, "We're worried man. We're like brothers and when one of us is damaged, heck we're all damaged." Carlos said.

Kendall looked at them and then down, "I don't even know how to express what I am feeling." Kendall said.

"Then explain it to us." Carlos said.

"Yeah, we won't judge." James said.

Kendall looked down at his book and sighed, his head looked up at his white ceiling and he could feel his friends staring at him.

"It seems nothing gets pass you three." Kendall said.

"Come on Kendall," Logan said.

Kendall looked at them and sighed, "I- actually thought I was going to die." Kendall said.

**~BTR~**

Kendall saw all three guys stare at him. Logan at this point at down at the end of Kendall's bed, Carlos stood close enough, and James leaned against the door frame. Kendall watched each guy changed their expression.

"I- knew I had to avoid the SUV, but the only way I could think of involved me getting the most damage." Kendall said.

"God, Kendall gotta quit playing hero." James said.

"James," Carlos said.

"Listen Kendall, I am not angry at you for protecting us or even the whole accident thing. I am only angry at you for not letting us in bro, we've had you help us with our problems yet you seem to want to deal with your demons alone." James said.

Kendall looked at James, "That's because I had to. Mom was dating the most terrible men, who treated her like crap. Someone had to man up and care for Katie and myself, someone had to start help around the house. Someone had to make sure the power didn't get turned off or us loosing the house." Kendall said.

"But you were just a child." Carlos said.

Kendall nodded, "Yeah I was." He said.

"Besides, I- don't want you guys to worry about my well-beings. I get too much of that from mom, and sometimes Katie." Kendall said.

"Well its called being a friend." Logan said.

Kendall shrugged, "I mean I guess your right. Yet I didn't want to have to talk about this, I don't want to have to make you think of what I went through. Then again you went through it too just not as bad." Kendall said.

"Dude, please." James said.

Kendall sighed, he knew he wasn't going to win at this. The guys will stay until Kendall told them everything.

"I'm in shock." Kendall said.

All eyes on him as he spoke.

"I thought I was dead, and I even thought I saw my old man. Stupid though, it was just a dream." Kendall said.

"Kendall," James said.

"Yet I am just damaged, my life literally flashed before my eyes. I nearly lost my life and nearly would have cause the death or not just myself but my closest friends." Kendall said.

"Kendall," Carlos said.

"I mean, I've been battling my demons of regret and anger for the longest time. Not even bothering to explode and finally tell the world that I am not this go happy person that they see, that I am instead this broken teenager. This teenager who can't seem to move pass the bad in my life, always being pulled back in the shadows." Kendall said.

"Kendall," Logan said.

"I- I can't keep lying to myself anymore." Kendall said.

Before Kendall went on to talk more, he noticed three hands on his shoulders. He looked up and saw James', Carlos', and Logan's hand on his shoulder.

"Stop, it's OK." James said.

**Kendall has been holding back such emotions for a long time... How will he feel after talking about it? Will he recover not just physically** **but emotionally? Will the guys get help from not just Kendall's family and close friends, but also Jo and Gustavo? What's gonna happen next?**


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't own Big Time Rush! Please review and favorite for more!**

Kendall sat in his room, his leg had fully recovered since the hole thing. He might have opened up to his friends to how he feels, but he still feels like crap. Kendall turned to the window in his room, he saw James trying to score on with a girl and then saw Logan with Camille. The two were on a romantic date. Carlos was doing some extreme jump into the pool. Kendall smirked, things seemed to have settled down to normal yet why was Kendall hiding?

"Kendall?" A soft voice asked.

Kendall quickly turned and saw his mom standing by the door, she had a small concerned look upon her face. She saw the look on her son's face and she walked further into the room.

"Why are you inside? Your leg is healed, I'd think you'd be playing lobby hockey with the boys or even on a date with Jo." His mom said.

Kendall formed a small smile, "Jo has filming for her show and the guys seem pretty busy." Kendall said.

"Kendall, go outside. Get some fresh air." His mom said and pulled him up.

Kendall was being dragged out of the apartment, he turned to see his mom open the door and push her oldest son outside into the hallway.

"No don't come back until you've had at least a hour of fun." She said.

She shut the door in his face and Kendall released a hopeless sigh. He walked down the hallway and saw a few people that were staying in the Palm Woods, they were talking about him. Talking about what had happened weeks ago. Kendall acted like he didn't hear yet he knew he'd hear more.

"Kendall-!" Shouted a voice.

Kendall turned and saw Lucy, the punk rocker he had a small crush on until he choose Jo over her. Lucy hugged him and seemed very happy, which surprised Kendall.

"Uh hi?" He said.

"I haven't seen you in weeks, and then Jo tells me you were in a coma. I was so worried, yet I am glad you're alright." Lucy said with a smile.

"Yeah- yeah, thank you." Kendall said still uneasy about the subject.

"So were you heading out to find the guys?" Lucy asked.

Kendall shrugged, "I don't know maybe. My mom wants me to be outside of the apartment."

"Been lazy have you Kendall?" Lucy teased.

Kendall laughed, "Maybe or just avoiding the chaos."

"Well this is the Palm Woods, its always chaotic." Lucy said with a smile.

"Yeah," Kendall said.

**~BTR~**

_"Kendall tell me what is wrong?" His mom said years ago._

_Kendall sat on the couch, he had a black eye and a small glare. Sitting in the living room was him, his mom, and her certain boyfriend. This guy was alright. He was a lawyer and his name was Troy._

_"Uh- Troy can I have a moment with my son?" His mom asked._

_Troy nodded and went outside for a smoke. Kendall avoided staring at his mom, he was far too angry and then he noticed his mom lean close to her son._

_"Kendall Donald Knight, this has been the fifth fight this month. When are you going to stop?" His mom asked._

_"Vance asked for it." Kendall said._

_"He asked for it? Kendall do you even hear yourself?" His mom asked._

_"Yes, I do." Kendall said._

_"Kendall you are eleven years old, what kind of leadership does that show Katie?" His mom asked._

_Kendall pouted and remained quiet._

_"Come on Kendall, tell me what is bothering you?" His mom asked._

_"It's been a year." Kendall said._

_His mom's expression changed and looked at her son, instead of anger to concern._

_"Kendall," She said, "I know it's been rough."_

_Kendall shook his head, "No you don't. You've been connecting yourself with complete strangers to avoid the fact he is gone. Katie had no idea who he was, or even remembers. I did everything with him, so it makes things painful." Kendall said._

_Kendall noticed his mom beginning to cry, Kendall's pout faded and he leaned to his mom. He was trying to stop her from crying._

_"No, I am sorry mom." Kendall said._

_"You're right Kendall. I had not realized how hard it was on you." She said._

_Kendall nodded, "Vance and the other kids were picking on me about it. That's what they always do, and I don't know why? Just get a laugh seeing me all sad." He said._

_His mom looked at her son, "If that is the case why not speak to a teacher or even me?"_

_"Because the teacher wouldn't believe me and you- never seem to want to talk." Kendall said._

_"Kendall," She looked at her son, "I promise to always be here when you need someone to talk to."_

_"Promise?"_

_"I promise. Now tell me how you feel?" She asked._

_"I feel alright, I am- just sick and tired of the pity looks and the talking behind my back." Kendall said._

_"You'll get that, it'll fade away eventually." She said and hugged her son._

**~BTR~**

"Ah look who finally left his room." James cheered.

Lucy and Kendall walked out to the pool, James walked over with a smile and he winked at Lucy. Lucy rolled her eyes and walked off. James had a small smile at Kendall.

"How are you bud?" James asked.

"I think people need to stop asking me that." Kendall said.

"Can't help it bud, but since you opened up I kinda worry about you." James said.

Kendall pushed James, "Well don't. I am fine." Kendall said.

"OK Kendall," James said in the tone of mocking what Kendall had said.

Carlos came up for air in the pool and noticed Kendall, "Yo the water is nice!" Carlos said.

Kendall smiled, "I'll pass."

"So what are the plans for today?" James asked.

"Plans? I thought you guys had plans." Kendall said.

"Well we have plans if you have plans, besides Logan." Carlos said.

The three turned seeing Logan and Camile holding hands at a table eating a sandwich while drinking lemonaide.

"Uh- I was just thinking about going to a walk, get some fresh air." Kendall said.

"Need someone to walk with you?" James asked.

"Nah, I am good." Kendall said.

"Kendall, you've been very distance lately." Carlos said and got out of the pool.

"No I haven't." Kendall said.

"Yes you have." James said.

"Whatever, I just had a lot on my mind." Kendall said.

"Care to share." James said.

"No," Kendall said.

"Oh I thought we were going to be honest with each other." James said.

"James," Carlos said.

"This is personal." Kendall said.

"Nothing can be that personal, you have to keep it from your band mates." James said.

Kendall shook his head, "I am not going to try to fight with someone who acts like a ten year old." Kendall said.

James turned to Kendall, "What? Me being a ten year old?" James asked.

"Guys?" Carlos said.

"Yeah, because you don't know when to back off." Kendall said.

As the two were going at it, slowly people started to watch and listen. Logan even ran from Camille to try to stop whatever was going on, Camille was startled by a Jo who just came from filming. Jo had been asking what was going on.

"Oh just because I am showing concern makes me a child?" James asked.

"No but getting to nosy makes you annoying." Kendall said.

"And now I am annoying? You know what if it wasn't for me we'd still be in Minnesota." James said.

Kendall didn't know what came over him, so he just pushed James into the pool out of anger. He stopped and realized what he had done after doing it, everyone stopped and looked at him and then the wet James in the pool.

"Kendall! If this is the thanks I get for trying to be a friend then I am done!" James shouted.

Kendall stared at his friend, a bit upset for what Kendall did and then looked at the others. The teens around the pool were giving Kendall strange looks, it was the looks he remembered when he was a kid. Kendall took a few steps back and then ran out of the Palm Woods.

"Kendall-!" Logan shouted.

Kendall kept running, he didn't look back.

**Whoa manager fight between James and Kendall? Where did Kendall run off too? Will James and Kendall become friends again? Also will Kendall be able to accept that he needs to talk to someone? What's gonna happen next?**


End file.
